Why did djTemp happen?
Why did djTemp start right after placements and effectively on the last day of college? What would ve happened if it spilled over to bangalore? Sex??? no problesm. Marriage issue? Nah. If god didnt want me to marry her, and put me in a fix, it would ve gone on atleast till, say, 25. The timing of the relationship seems strange. Everything happens by design. There is nothing random.
Now. Why did god want her to be in my life in the first place? Wouldnt i have learnt all that I did even otherwise, considering my observation and analytical skills? So, it is not about a sneak preview of her kinda world. Is it just to remind me that my idea of "intelligent" females exist? possible. But not killer reason enough.
If it had gone on longer, what would i have lost? All those weekends of ccd/booze? Crap. I would ve, may be, learnt to prioritize relationships [vs time], and surely would ve managed everything even then given the amount of time i ve had.
The whole thing looks so programmed. Someone crying in front of me. Something that would very obviously would ve evoked a response from me. Best start possible? hmmm. Then some bits to screw up both ends. First K. then, just when it was looking like it might get back to normalcy, a misinterpretation of my relationship with Swetha. [ok. lets fuck the blaming bit.] Which effectively killed it.
Would i have lost track of my future plans? No way! Even football fan-dom, at its peak, will always have lesser priority for me than my future.
Then why did god want to relieve me of her at that point? Was she, by design, something nice to engage my mind during the whole of rotten (read as unproductive) final year? But even then i had lots of time to crib about how stupid final year was. Was she a tool to help me to become closer to some ppl and farther from some others? erm.. not good enough.
I am sure about this. Considering that the timing looks so suspiciously programmed, there is something significant to pick up from the journey. And i dont want to realize it when i am 29 or 49 or 79. I want to know it Now. NOW!
Now. Why did god want her to be in my life in the first place? Wouldnt i have learnt all that I did even otherwise, considering my observation and analytical skills? So, it is not about a sneak preview of her kinda world. Is it just to remind me that my idea of "intelligent" females exist? possible. But not killer reason enough.
If it had gone on longer, what would i have lost? All those weekends of ccd/booze? Crap. I would ve, may be, learnt to prioritize relationships [vs time], and surely would ve managed everything even then given the amount of time i ve had.
The whole thing looks so programmed. Someone crying in front of me. Something that would very obviously would ve evoked a response from me. Best start possible? hmmm. Then some bits to screw up both ends. First K. then, just when it was looking like it might get back to normalcy, a misinterpretation of my relationship with Swetha. [ok. lets fuck the blaming bit.] Which effectively killed it.
Would i have lost track of my future plans? No way! Even football fan-dom, at its peak, will always have lesser priority for me than my future.
Then why did god want to relieve me of her at that point? Was she, by design, something nice to engage my mind during the whole of rotten (read as unproductive) final year? But even then i had lots of time to crib about how stupid final year was. Was she a tool to help me to become closer to some ppl and farther from some others? erm.. not good enough.
I am sure about this. Considering that the timing looks so suspiciously programmed, there is something significant to pick up from the journey. And i dont want to realize it when i am 29 or 49 or 79. I want to know it Now. NOW!
lovedale spoke out loud at 2:41 PM
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